And this is why I started a blog!

The only advantage of having my birthday close to my son's birthday is that the walls still reflect the birthday mood. Yeah, its my birthday today. Happy birthday to me.

Guess the number of people who called me to wish apart from my parents, brother and chiti - TWO. And those two follow my blog regularly. (You know who!!!! Thanks buddies and really sorry for not picking up the call first time. *goofy smile*) I guess this is a reflection how my life has been last year. I have really lost contact with all my friends. My life has revolved around my son. I have not attended any function except my dad's 60th birthday. No visits to friend's place. No outings. In fact, I have not chatted with any of my friends for a long time.

And this has also made me realize how much of a support I have drawn from this blog. Every time I wanted to speak to someone, I have blogged. Blog has been an emotional support acting as a outlet and at the same time providing a clarity of thoughts that comes along with finding words for your feelings.

Thank you blog and hoping that I come to you as often as possible. :)

Happy Birthday dearest!

Happy Birthday dearest!

You turn two today! As I look back at the year, there is just one single feeling in my heart – maternal pride. The year started with you having viral fever and ended with a respiratory infection. In between, I took you to strangers aka therapists, who are helping you achieve the development milestones. And if that was not enough, I trained you at home all the time.

I am amazed at how we have faced this year. I often consider this as a battle and I know you are my biggest support. It would have not been easy if you did not respond to my efforts. But you did. A couple of weeks back one of the therapists appreciated me for my efforts telling me that she has not seen such fast recovery with any other kid and it was all because of my efforts. I told her that this was a combined effort. I always knew you had the intelligence. I can see the glow in your face. You just needed a spark and I just did that.

But what is more important is that in between all this, you have not lost your charm. You smile at anyone who smiles at you. You can easily steal over anyone’s heart with your smile. You love kids. I can only wish you have this smile all through your life irrespective of whatever situation you face.

This year since I have been mostly at home, you have become almost my tail. You follow me everywhere I go. You move with others only if I am in the same room. Else you come in search of me. I wish you mingle with others too with the confidence that you can go back to your mom any time.

This year we have started reading books and you love them. You want me to read some books over and over again. I am not sure what you like in books. But there are some favorites and you smile whenever you see those books. (Humpty – Dumpty, Baby Animals, What does Baby Say? are some of your current favorites) Let’s start reading story books soon and let your imagination fly.

All in all, this year has become an important year and a year in which you have blossomed beautifully. Next year is also a crucial one and I hope you start speaking soon and may be we can enjoy your childhood as it has to be enjoyed.

Wishing you all the love and happiness ahead.

Love,
Mom

Mothers I tell you!

What do you think would have triggered the following reactions?

Relative: How did you do it?
Friend: Cool….
Brother: Good.
Husband: *gives a second look*

And finally…

Mother: You never follow whatever I say and this is what will happen. *followed by a series of advice*

In case you have not figured out yet, I told them I have moved from size XL to L.

Breaking point

I am not sure if every person has a breaking point – a time when they just feel defeated. But if such a thing exists, then either I have reached that point or somewhere close to it. September is usually a month that I look forward to. It’s the month of celebration since my birthday, my son’s birthday and my brother’s birthday fall this month. Not this time.

On September 2nd, my son started having cold and later that day he was having temperature. I gave him the usual medicines but it did not seem to work. He also started having cough. On September 4th, I took him to the doctor who gave him antibiotics and syrup for cough. On September 5th, he started having vomiting and loose stools and during night he was struggling to breathe. I took him again to the doctor on September 6th and the doctor had one look at him and said he had to be admitted. He had got a severe respiratory infection and his chest was infected.

It has to be the worst feeling to see your active kid with an IV injected lying on bed with trips and looking dull. He was on trips for four days. Every time a doctor or nurse came, he started crying. He was just so scared to see new people who came and gave him injections and medicines and I am sure IV would have also given pain. He looked confused unable to understand what everyone was doing and hence could not cooperate with them. Finally after a series of antibiotics and medicines and nebulisation, he was discharged on September 10th at 8:30 p.m. He had to undergo nebulisation for a week and hence hospital visits continue.

In between all this, I caught his infection and was having a pretty bad cough and cold. I could not take any medicine since I was afraid it would make me sleep. I had to be awake to ensure he did not shake his hand during the night. All in all, a real tough scenario.

The reason why I think all this has made me feel defeated is:

1] All this has meant I could not take him for any therapies for last two weeks and I am not sure how much of an impact this would have.
2] After struggling for almost 2 months, he was saying a few sounds. But after this entire hospitalization episode, he is not saying any of those except “dha”.
3] I was potty training him and all my effort has gone waste since he was on diapers during hospital stay. In addition, he also has rashes.

I truly feel defeated. As if there is someone above who wants to see how much can I take and is consciously making my situation worse.

The only positive in all this is that my dad and mom came immediately to help me. I called my dad and told him that the doctor has asked to admit my son. His immediate response was, “Admit him, I will be there as soon as possible.” And then he cut the call. What would I do without such loving parents!