The day I dreaded is here

And ironically I am not scared today. In fact I am at peace with myself. I do not know what changed because for the past two days I have been bombarding myself with questions and really feeling bad for myself. But everything changed today morning. May be I woke up from the right side of the bed. :) I knew I have taken the right decision and things will fall in place.

In case you are wondering what all this is about, let me tell you I have just decided it is time to say goodbye to my career. As I type this there is a very remote possibility that I may go back if I get some part-time option in my current company. But that is more a wish than reality.

Looking back, one thing I can honestly say is that I have given my best shot at all the roles I played. I joined my first organization as a fresher and for 3+ years was engrossed in the world of C, C++, Java and .Net and I L.O.V.E.D every single day of those years. I took up a tough project before marriage and for 3 months gave the project everything I had. I was in office from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (much to my mom’s disapproval) on all days and I really enjoyed the challenge and hard work that I put in. I did it because I knew after marriage I would not be able to devote so much time to work and I was proved right. So, to achieve better work – life balance and to prolong my career, I moved from developer role to a writer role. Since I enjoy putting my thoughts into words I enjoyed this role also.

I moved to my second company because it was closer to home and my pregnancy got confirmed three days after I joined the company. Though the package was less, my priority was to have a better work – life balance. The company was absolutely supportive during my pregnancy and also after the child’s birth. Just when I thought I could manage both office and home, life pulled me down. My company was supportive and gave me a break for one year. I thought in one year I should be able to resolve all the issues and get back to work. Little did I know the magnitude of the challenge.

As my leave ends next month, I had to decide if I want to continue or not. Everyone around me asked me to quit. It was as if it was easier for everyone to take the decision except for the person concerned which in this case is me. (Sachin Tendulkar, I now know how you felt when people asked you why don’t you retire?) I was sad that in spite of making so many changes to prolong my career, life still finds a way to cut it short. Work gives me confidence and keeps me motivated. I want financial independence. I have my own dreams which need money and which will have to wait now.

But I am happy to say that all the questions and negative thoughts are done with. Today I am at peace with the decision I have made. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or may be someday in future. Hopefully I should have accepted life and moved on. The guy who gives me hugs and kisses at random times needs my attention and love and may be as this door closes, the Lord will be kind to open up another door.

Being good is not enough

I got my appraisal today at work and I have been given “average” rating. There is a slight pain in the heart as I see it. Having been first in college and school, and having performed well in my first organization, I feel bad to get an average rating.

Suppose if I evaluate myself, this year I have been good at the jobs allocated to me. I have performed them to the best of my ability and the requestors have been happy. And that’s where it stops. I have not done anything beyond that. No initiatives taken. No new ideas contributed. I have also not attended any workshops / group activities. And since I had taken four months of maternity leave, I had also missed out on trainings and other new initiatives. So, I guess average is a fair assessment.

I think it is also a good time for me to answer a few questions about my career.

-> What is that you want from your career? Is it just the salary?

Definitely not. I want to take up challenging assignments, work on them, complete them successfully, and feel satisfied about my work.

-> With the above answer, you are aiming only for average rating even next year. Because until you contribute more than what is required, you can not obtain higher ratings. What is your take?

Correct. I should come out of my comfort zone and try to look for ways to improve myself and team. Let me think about these and develop a plan.

-> Do I have any long term goal?

Not really. I have never been someone who set long term goals.

-> What do I want to do the next year? Do I want to continue doing the same or I would like to grow into newer roles?

Well, this is the toughest question to answer. With a baby, I have no clue how much time I will be able to devote to my work.

Ideally next year I would like to be good at my job but also be proactive in identifying areas of improvement, finding ways to deliver more value to the team and be a team player. I hope this is a realistic target for me and I will be able to balance work and family.

-> How long do I plan to work from home?

I should motivate myself to be back in work as soon as possible. From April, I should be able to go back to office. Of course, this would mean I sort out a lot of personal issues and establish a strong support system at home. This is a big challenge and I hope things fall in place.

So, the action now is to constantly look for ways to improve and be proactive.

CEO at 20!!

Yup… My boy is going to become a CEO at the age of 20. Can you believe at the age of three months, he is already a part of meetings?

Today, I had a meeting @ 3 PM. As most mothers do, I had to multitask since the meeting coincided with his feed time. So, at 3 PM, I joined the meeting, pt my ear phones, pressed the mute button, and started feeding my boy. The meeting was for an hour. My son drank for 15 minutes and then decided that the string attached to mom’s ears were more interesting. So, he was pulling those which resulted in many disturbances in the call. After persisting for five minutes, I decided I had to take care of him at once. So, I pressed the Speaker button. And what happens next??

The boy ignores everything and keeps looking at the mobile phone in deep concentration. (I wonder if he was taking notes mentally…. Kids these days, you may never know :)) At this rate, I am sure he will become a CEO at the age of 20. (and in every interview, my son will dedicate all his success to his mother.... *day dreaming continues*......)

And yes, I was an active participant in the meeting and sent the MoM just before typing this post!

All hail multitasking!!

Farewell – Thanks & Good Bye

Farewell mail that I sent today to my colleagues.

Apprehensive about first job,
But confident about myself,
I landed at XXXX four years back.

Days of deadlines followed,
Pressures built up,
I was thrown into this world of IT.

When the going became tough,
I struggled to meet my own standards,
Caring colleagues, Loving friends restored my confidence.

Before I could realize,
I found the roles reversed,
As enthusiastic people joined the team.

As time went on,
With so many opportunities coming my way,
I grew personally and professionally.

I shifted teams,
Expanded my wings,
Learning new things every day.

Taking all these experiences,
I move ahead in life,
To continue my learning process.

Thanks for being there,
To support me,
And help me become what I am today.

I say good bye,
Wishing you all
lots of success and happiness!!

Eating together

I am confused. Do you eat more when you eat together with friends? No, I am not referring to those lunches, where each one of us bring lunch boxes and eat our own or may be taste others…

What I am referring to is having one big basket full of food and everyone eating from the same plate. In those cases, do we eat more?? Or even eat those items that we may not have eaten otherwise.

I think the answer is YES.

I normally don't like sweets. I have heard my mom crib so many times about me not tasting the sweets that she painfully makes on all those festival days. I did not even eat sweets outside. I just had no interest in it. (Noticed the use of past tense. :))

But these days, the story is completely different. At my office, any good news is celebrated with sweets. Now, for someone who does not like sweets, I have eaten 2-3 pieces of milk sweet, 4 pieces of sonbapodi cake, and Mysore pak this week alone. If I start mentioning the sweets that I have eaten over the month, I am sure it will be about 10 different items.

If you think I have just understood the magnificent taste of these sweets and am compensating for those lost years, wait till you read the next sentence. The surprising part here is I did not eat any of these sweets during Diwali at home and even hated them. So, what has caused this change??

I think it is because, we all sit and eat together and have so much fun, though I am not sure. Does anyone have the same experience??

Voice of the Heart

I am an instinctive person. Everything in my life is decided based on the voice from the heart than head. I choose my friends based on my instincts. In the first few minutes that I speak to a person, I know the level of bonding I will have with the person.

Similarly, when I perform an activity, I know if it will be successful or not. I know from my heart that the output will be good. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying I feel EVERYTIME. But some days I can feel it more than other days. I am not sure how I am able to feel it. May be because in school days, I loved being alone and speaking to myself that I hear the voice inside me even now. I am not sure.

Every time I am confused, I listen to my heart. To quote a few instances,

• When I saw P for the first time, I knew he will become my close friend. Today, all I can say is I am just so proud of myself to be his friend.
  
• Mine was an arranged marriage. But even before I met my husband and his parents on the scheduled day, I knew that the alliance will be finalized. And today, I am happy that I listened to my heart.
  
• A year back, when I was asked to work from a client's location, my dad wanted me to reject the offer. But I listened to my heart and accepted the offer. And those days were so crucial in bringing peace to my mind.
  

If you are wondering, why such a post, let me tell you the feedback I received last week.

Someone told my current lead –

"Whenever she asks a question to you and if the answer does not convince her, she will never some back to you. She will complete the work herself."

I have to say – That's a pretty good assessment of who I am. But, unfortunately I am not able to accept to it fully. It's more like this.

"If I speak to you and if I am not comfortable with you or your answer, I would never come to you for anything."

Because sometimes I am happy with an honest answer. It can be "I don't know". I respect the honesty. But if I see someone beating around the bush and wasting my time or using inappropriate words or disrespecting someone or correct answer in a wrong tone, I am sure I would never go back to him.

How about you? Do you listen to your instincts? Let me know.

Striking a Balance between Individual Performance and Teamwork

This was written more than a year back. I found it in my mail archives and wanted to record these thoughts in the blog. Images courtesy Google.

Introduction

The ability to be a team player is one of the most important requirements for success in today's job market. This is a distinct turnaround from, say, 20 years ago when individual accomplishments were the all-important. Employers would put the emphasis on individual performance, although getting along in the workplace and with work colleagues has always been important.

But in today's competitive environment, every organization is looking for ways to better their own performance. How can we achieve this without improving existing work process? And to propose better solutions, we need to be creative.

This article tries to find an answer to this basic question – What is the most important attribute to succeed in today's global world – Creativity or Teamwork?

Teamwork

There are few jobs that don't require us to interact with colleagues in a team। For the most part, we need to work cohesively with others at our workplaces to achieve the organizational goals.

Work teams play an important role in a modern organization. From software engineers who collaborate to write code to the board of directors who gather to make strategic decisions, teams are increasingly being used worldwide as the foundation of work. We know from our everyday experiences, however, that effective teamwork is not achieved as easily as getting a collection of individuals together.

The following characteristics should be present in a team for it to succeed.

• Common Goal in mind
  
• Active Participation by ALL team members
  
• Open-mindedness
  
• Clarity on the role of each team member
  
• Support between team members
  
• Support for the team leader
  
• Avoidance of dominance of any one team member
  
• Have fun
  

Even when all the above mentioned characteristics are present in a team, can we ensure the team members will be happy on a long term basis? We usually find employees looking for a change.

A team that destroys itself in the course of accomplishing its mission is no team at all, even if everyone is a team player.

This brings us to an important aspect of teamwork: the manner in which a team interacts. Dynamics play a big role in the successful completion of a project. Regardless of the ideal of reaching a common goal, every person has a different viewpoint. In a single group, one may find pessimists, control freaks, eternal optimists, and fence-sitters. The control freak will ride roughshod over others. The fence-sitter will avoid taking responsibility. The one who will suffer the most in the group will probably be the optimist, who will continually propose solutions and continually find his or her ideas rebuffed. In the meantime, work will suffer directly or indirectly in the form of decreasing interest and enthusiasm among those who are likely doing more than their fair share.

So, the challenge lies in ensuring these differences of opinion are taken in a positive manner and collectively the team succeeds. The joy of working in a close-knit team and completing the goal is unmatched.

Individual Performance

In today's world, life has become so mechanical and every one suffers from stress related problems. What is the reason for this pattern? Is it because of tight deadlines and work pressure? Or is it because of repetitive or unsatisfied work?

When we enjoy what we do, there can be no stress. Whenever there is a bit of you in the work that you do, the work will truly be enjoyable. Remember, Creativity has nothing to do with any particular work. Whatsoever you do can become creative if you know what creativity means.

Creativity means enjoying any work as meditation, doing any work with love. Be a little innovative – that's what creativity is. Innovate new ways, new means. Try something new that nobody has ever done. And you will find that you love your work because you know you have contributed a little and that feeling will keep you energized.

When a person brings a new idea, it is like fire. It kindles newer ideas in other minds too and brings fresh energy to the team.

Today we find that organizations spend time and money in training their senior management and giving each employee an opportunity to learn other disciplines in their work. What is the reason behind this? They are trying to refresh the mind of each individual so that the organization as a whole benefits.

We should try to bring this initiative in smaller teams. If any one of the team member, spends some time on proposing a new idea, the entire team will be rejuvenated and we can see ideas flowing.

Think Alone, Work Together

We understand the benefits of team culture and no organization can ignore it. The challenge remains in keeping the team members motivated and finding out new ways to refresh the minds. The mind can be refreshed only when the thought process is evoked and new ideas are proposed.

Can we think together? Every man has his own thoughts and ideas. We inherit the products of the thoughts of other men. We inherit the wheel. We make a cart. The cart becomes an automobile. The automobile becomes an air plane. But all through this process, what we receive from others is only the end product of their thinking. The creator in each man takes this product as material and uses it and originates the next step.

Men learn from one another. But all learning is only the exchange of material. What he does with his learning and how he interprets it is based on his own mind. No one should control it.

Hence, each man should think alone, express his ideas and be ready for others to express their opinion on the same. Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprang up.

The powers of the mind are like the rays of the sun dissipated. When they are concentrated, they illumine – Swami Vivekananda.

There should be variety, but that does not make us separate. Variety makes life richer.

No man is an island. To implement an idea, we need to co-operate with others. And hence a team is formed and for the team to be successful there needs to be synergy in the team. The team should work together by free agreement and each should be free in his proper function. Synergy catalyzes, unifies and unleashes the greatest powers within people. It means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

The most important responsibility of a manager is to keep his team motivated and rejuvenated. He should ensure he keeps his mind fresh and open a new idea for discussion to the team. If the team decides on a progressive change, the manager should be able to incorporate the same into the work process.

Any change will have inconvenience but we should remember that there will be no progress without change. Hence each member in the team should think alone and express his ideas. The team should then decide on the best approach and implement the same with a common goal.

Conclusion

If one does not love work, one is always unhappy in life. In order to be truly happy in life, one must love work.

We should never forget that the team comprises of individuals. Unless, each member in the team is satisfied and happy, the team cannot be at its best. Any individual can be happy when he enjoys his work. If you can perform your work creatively, lovingly, totally, you will have the taste of life. When happy individuals come together, the work they produce will be of high quality and the organization will truly become a great place to work.

CEO Speak…

This week I had a chance to listen to the CEO of my company speak. If I say I was glued to him - that would be an understatement. It's been a long time since I have heard someone speak so very confidently and with so much authority. He was on the money, no mincing words.

As with every company, the last year has been tough for my company too. There were less projects, job cuts and change in policies to reduce operating costs. All this meant there was no growth last year. And hence just as we sense that the market will open up, the CEO meets every leader in the company and conveys his message absolutely clearly.

Few of the points that impressed me are:

• Employees who did not perform were sacked. (This includes SVP and VP). I don't think there was any need to touch this point. He could have bypassed it.
  But he did not.
  
• Jobs with multiple roles and not being accountable for any will be removed. Clear emphasis on performance. There will be performance based appraisal.
  
• The company is divided into four divisions. There should be no employee belonging to more than one division.
  
• Senior leaders of the company are also rated every quarter on different aspects.
  

He was successful in infusing his priorities in everyone's mind and the message is absolutely clear - He means business.

My Beliefs.........and pain

Anyone who has spent a few minutes with me will know that I am a person with values. And I NEVER compromise on them. I am extremely sincere and dedicated to any work I do. In case mistakes happen, it will be because of my ignorance. I also ensure those mistakes are not repeated. If you ask me what is the feeling that is most important to me in life - No not love, its RESPECT. And if I respect someone they are special to me.

In case you are wondering why such a post, it is because someone at office doubts my sincerity. And it really hurts when you have been with the company for 4 years. It happened yesterday and I still can not get over it.

God give me some peace of mind.

It hurts more when you do not have your friends with whom you can vent your anger with the comfort that they will listen to you and help you get back to normal. I miss my friends and happy that I have my blog to give me company.

Bindhu!!