Journey so far – Part II

There is no success without hardwork. The last post discussed the results with no mention of the efforts. This post will give you a feeling of “oh-this-lady-is-blowing-her-own-trumpet”, but that is what it is. So, feel free to skip this.

From saying “paa”,”maa”,”tha”,”na”,”va” thousand times a day, to designing flashcards in various styles to challenge you, to reading you books to improve your vocabulary, to designing worksheets to teach you “What”, “Where” and “Who”, I have done it all. I don’t remember the last time when I challenged my brain creatively. I had to be creative if I had to get answers for a series of questions from a 3-year old for close to 45 minutes. Because my son’s IQ is very good, all these efforts brought fruitful results.

From getting my son to throw a ball 100 times a day by holding his hands (which also includes I had to pick the ball 100 times) so that he could get that movement correct, holding his legs and making him kick a ball 100 times, to pushing the cycle for an hour so that he could pedal the cycle (I had to push the cycle really fast to get his interest in riding a cycle), to making him crawl under the cot to give his body workout, to taking him to the park, the list is endless.

I also had to teach him the basic things such as colors, shapes, vegetables, fruits, animals, birds, body parts, opposites, puzzles, rhymes, alphabets, numbers and all other things that children of his age know. I am still working on coloring and writing.

In the last post, I had mentioned that “I have not thought of anything apart from my son during the first 10 months of the year”. This is because there is no television in my home to distract me. (I saw Sachin Tendulkar’s farewell speech three days late. :() I knew nothing of the outside world. And during the last two months of the year, all this took a toll on me. My body was giving up. The doctor gave the verdict a few weeks back “I had become stressed and had to take sleeping pills.” So, the last two months, I took my feet off the accelerator, trying to give my body enough rest and relax. Now that I am in Chennai for a few days, all that I am doing is eating and sleeping. This is a marathon that I am running and I have to save every ounce of energy if I want to finish the marathon.

2014 is going to be yet another tough year and the journey continues…

Journey so far - Part I

Year 2013 is coming to a close and as I look back at the year, there is just one thing that comes to my mind – HARDWORK. I don’t remember any year that I have worked so hard. I don’t think I have thought of anything apart from my son during the first 10 months of the year. I was single minded, threw everything out of my life, gave my best efforts to the boy who is truly the best. And I am happy to see the progress he has made.

He has truly come a long way this year. From saying “aa oo ee” at the start of the year to saying “Close the door”, “open the door”, “Give phone”, “Wear chappal”, he has started putting words together. He has started expressing his needs in words. His vocabulary is very good and he has started answering “What” and “Where” questions. Way to go!!!

And that’s not all. He has discovered the pleasure of riding the tricycle and playing with the ball. Gross motor skills are improving and I assume he is getting confident of his body too. Playing in park has become synonymous with playing on swing.

I am in Chennai the last few days and to see my son bonding with his thatha, patti, mama and mami gives me immense pleasure. In earlier visits, he had taken a few days to warm up and by the time he started playing with them, we would leave. That was not the case this time. My dad had come to Bangalore to pick us and the first time my son saw him, he came to my dad and said thatha and took him around the house. My son has officially become thatha’s tail. To see my dad become a child again and cajole my son makes me laugh from the heart. This is the man who always had a military look when we were young. Grandparents are best.

One day, my dad was getting ready to office. He had worn his office clothes and was about to have breakfast, when my son went to him and said “swing”. And what did thatha do? Took the grandson to the park, made him play swing for half an hour, came back, had breakfast and went to office late.

My son’s favorite game these days is asking someone to lift him and drop. His mama is more than happy to do it. Once my brother comes from office, he goes to him and says “mama, thooki, thooki” (meaning lift me) and then says “dhopakateel” (meaning drop me), and my brother does the same until either of them become tired. :)

What can I say!!! May the love last forever…

Hello Tello

Hello All,

How are you? This is Aravind blogging. I had waited enough for my mom to update this blog. I think it is time I take matters in my own hand. The big news is that I am going to school for almost a month. It is so bad on my mom that she failed to update this on the blog. The school is a small Montessori school near my home and I am starting to love it. My mom was scared about sending me to school and got me books on how other kids go to school and what happens in school. But the truth is that she needed those books more for herself than me. She kept telling everyone that I will cry for a minimum of a month. But I proved her wrong. I cried for a week because I was scared about the new place. But once I realized everyone was happy to give me things that I wanted, I started playing.

Now that I have told you the main news, let me go and sleep. Will have to go to school tomorrow. Hopefully mom will start blogging again. :)
 

Good night.

12 O’n clock

This happened a couple of days back.

Since my son can recognize 1 to 10 pretty well, I was forced to teach him 11 – 20. (He can say A-Z, recognize all the alphabets, A for apple to Z for Zebra, names of most fruits, vegetables, animals, birds, vehicles. My readers, please please tell me if there is something else that I can teach him. Because that’s all that my brain can think of and these days he feels very bored. He is truly challenging me. :() So, now he says 1 to 20 and can recognize the same.

I was in kitchen preparing some dish when suddenly my son came to the kitchen and dragged me to the hall and with such a glow in his face said “Twelve, Clock, Twelve, Clock.” Aah, my baby boy has observed that the clock has "12". Truly, a Eureka moment for the little guy.

My son,

I have just one question for you. Didn’t you realize that there is a clock in the kitchen and it also has “12” on it?:D

Moments like these are truly my reward.

Wow is the word

My son,

It’s been a month since the last post and truly I have no idea how January ended. Time just flew. Before my memory lets me down, let me record what you are up to these days.

You ask everyone “o aa u,” of course with me prompting you. But it is absolutely cute when you say it. The first time I heard it, I laughed until my tummy hurt me. And its been many months since I laughed like that. So, thank you for that. (For readers wondering what it means, “How are you?”)

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Since you are officially my tail, you sit with me in the pooja room either blowing at the lamps or trying to taste the camphor or trying to play with dhoop stick. There are days when I think I am actually speaking more to you than the Almighty. But unknowingly you have also listened to all the chants I say. So, now you join me and say "Om", wait for me to complete the chant, and then say "namaha". :) I hope the Lord is happy. :)

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At night I lie down next to you and close my eyes and pretend asleep. There is just one thought in mind that I should not actually sleep before you do. And what do you do? You sing lullabies to me. Today you sang – “aa… ra…. ro, aa… re… ra…. ro". It is such a soothing feeling to listen that in your baby language. :)

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Last week, since it was Friday and I was doing some pooja at home I wore a saree. Once you woke up, as usual you came to the kitchen to see me, but did not recognize me. You thought it was someone else and went running. When I called you a few minutes later, you turned back, looked at me and then looked at the saree, came near me, asked me to sit down, kept touching the saree, all the while your smile broadening until both of us laughed. Finally you said “Wow.” Thanks my son! No one has ever said that. :)

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Truly wow is the word these days. Of course it all started with me. I started saying wow in various modulations and decibels as a positive reinforcer and you caught on to it. So, every time you are happy, like I make your favorite dish or I wear a saree or you are able to achieve some challenge or we see a new bike, you immediately say wow. I join you and say wow. Then you say wow in a higher decibel and lasting for a few more seconds. Again I say wow in the same pattern that you said and again you increase your decibel. It feels wonderful to just be part of your happy world.

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You have also become naughtier. Currently washing machine has become your favorite toy. I have the washing machine on the kitchen. The other day I see the timer on the wash tub and came to the pooja room only to hear a few strange sounds. I come running only to find that you have opened the lid and have put a few vessels inside it and you are laughing at them rotating. I give a deep sigh, remove all vessels, and wait until the timer finishes. Then I drain the tub, connect the inlet pipe to the tap and bring you out. A few minutes later you come to me and day “ eeh aah” (which is the equivalent of “thee thaa” meaning water). I go and check and see that you have taken the inlet pipe and put it on the ground and the kitchen is flooded with water. What can I say? I tried to scold you but seeing you wet shirt and pant I figured out you had a good time and just asked your dad to take care of you. Please remember there will be day when I will lose my patience. :(

Keep those naughtiness and cuteness coming.

Love you loads,
Mom

Week of milestones

A couple of days back, I looked at the calendar to realize that November had come to an end and it was December, last month of the year. I was lost in my own thoughts for a couple of minutes. It was a realization that I had actually faced every single day of this year, which I dreaded early in the year and how far my child had come. There were days I wished that all the troubles were actually dreams and I will wake up one fine day just to know everything was perfectly normal. Life is not easy that way, is it?

Well, I am drifting from what I wanted to write. This is definitely not a year-end post. This post is about last week and truly a milestone week in terms of my child’s progress.

My son,

Milestone 1:
I had blogged earlier about how you had not settled in group therapy. Well, you did settle down a few weeks back. And then I had to travel to Chennai for a week. So, I wanted to see how you would react after the break. You were absolutely fine the next class too. The next week the therapist was on leave and again I was concerned. But you were fine. And then I stopped taking you on other days and wanted to see how you would cope with just one visit per week. Again you were fine. So, I guess now I can safely say second set is also won.

Milestone 2:
You have also started enjoying going to park and can sit on a swing with no back support for 10 – 15 minutes. Clearly, your body balance is improving.

Milestone 3:
As I mentioned in the last post, you have started saying your name. Though you still make only sounds of vowels, I am amazed at how you sing rhymes, read books, and say so many words with just a few basic sounds. Of course, a stranger may not be able to understand what you say but I am not bothered. I am feeling great that all the rhymes that I sang, all the books that I read are etched in your memory.

Some of the words you say now are
…oon for moon
…ow for cow
Ow… for owl
Uee… for queen
Aah….an for orange
aa….eee for honey
ua…e for square
ou…e for house

The rhyme that you sing cutest is
“Aai  ain  oo  aaa” for “rain rain go away”

The book that you read best is Eric Carle’s “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see”

When left alone with the book, you say

“ow.. ea… ow… ea… aa oo uu ee
I ee ____________ ooin a ee”

Which is:

“Brown bear brown bear what do you see
I see a red bird looking at me”

And you continue the same until the end of the book. Eric Carle’s books are a hit in our household.

You have come a long distance, my love. I am just proud of you.

Love you loads.

What a way to end the day!!!

You know the day is going to be bad when you wake up with a head-ache. Add to it, I had to take my baby to the therapy class at 7:45 a.m. So, I tried to finish things as fast as I could and rushed to the class. My son did not understand anything about the rush and wanted to see the pigeons before going inside the class. (I am so jealous of him for this one reason. :( ) At the class, he decided he wanted to see the light and the fan and the chairs and the table and cried when he was asked to concentrate. After 45 minutes, I paid a handsome amount and wiped the tears across my son’s face (and wiped my eyes too).

Reached home and started doing other chores. My bad mood was getting worse and who else but the husband had to face the pain of it. Thankfully, he was in one of his better moods and hence there was no tension. The rest of the day progressed with me applying balm on my head and massaging my son’s cheeks.

After our regular walk and my fight to make him say a few sounds (which I lose every single time), I called my mom. While I maintained my calmness during the first half of the conversation, the second half took a U-turn and I raised my voice. Unfortunately, in the second half I was speaking to my dad. So, I shouted at my dad and said good night and cut the call.

My mood was worst now and I was questioning myself on the things I said and so on. Then, my baby wants to read books. I take a book titled “Who am I” and even before I place the book on the floor, my baby says “whooai.” I am thrilled and clap hands and the mood starts to get better. We read a few books and in one of the books there is a mirror. Usually, I ask him to look at the mirror and ask him what his name is and answer it myself. Today I asked, “What is your name?” and then said “My name is” and paused and looked at him. He looked at me for a few seconds and said “A….in.” What a lovely moment. Yet again my eyes were moist but the heart was swelling with pride. All my energy had returned and I started jumping with joy (I promise I did. One of the few advantages of having no other adult at home is that you can become a child yourself).

My mom calls and says sorry for the words that my dad had said and I tell her to forget all that and tell her that her grand son tried to say his name. Clearly, she is happy and I knew she was crying at the other end.

Well, if this is how a day is going to end, then I truly do not mind having head-ache, stomach ache, back ache or all together. Though, I am not sure if I will wake up.

Good night folks.

Happy Birthday dearest!

Happy Birthday dearest!

You turn two today! As I look back at the year, there is just one single feeling in my heart – maternal pride. The year started with you having viral fever and ended with a respiratory infection. In between, I took you to strangers aka therapists, who are helping you achieve the development milestones. And if that was not enough, I trained you at home all the time.

I am amazed at how we have faced this year. I often consider this as a battle and I know you are my biggest support. It would have not been easy if you did not respond to my efforts. But you did. A couple of weeks back one of the therapists appreciated me for my efforts telling me that she has not seen such fast recovery with any other kid and it was all because of my efforts. I told her that this was a combined effort. I always knew you had the intelligence. I can see the glow in your face. You just needed a spark and I just did that.

But what is more important is that in between all this, you have not lost your charm. You smile at anyone who smiles at you. You can easily steal over anyone’s heart with your smile. You love kids. I can only wish you have this smile all through your life irrespective of whatever situation you face.

This year since I have been mostly at home, you have become almost my tail. You follow me everywhere I go. You move with others only if I am in the same room. Else you come in search of me. I wish you mingle with others too with the confidence that you can go back to your mom any time.

This year we have started reading books and you love them. You want me to read some books over and over again. I am not sure what you like in books. But there are some favorites and you smile whenever you see those books. (Humpty – Dumpty, Baby Animals, What does Baby Say? are some of your current favorites) Let’s start reading story books soon and let your imagination fly.

All in all, this year has become an important year and a year in which you have blossomed beautifully. Next year is also a crucial one and I hope you start speaking soon and may be we can enjoy your childhood as it has to be enjoyed.

Wishing you all the love and happiness ahead.

Love,
Mom

Breaking point

I am not sure if every person has a breaking point – a time when they just feel defeated. But if such a thing exists, then either I have reached that point or somewhere close to it. September is usually a month that I look forward to. It’s the month of celebration since my birthday, my son’s birthday and my brother’s birthday fall this month. Not this time.

On September 2nd, my son started having cold and later that day he was having temperature. I gave him the usual medicines but it did not seem to work. He also started having cough. On September 4th, I took him to the doctor who gave him antibiotics and syrup for cough. On September 5th, he started having vomiting and loose stools and during night he was struggling to breathe. I took him again to the doctor on September 6th and the doctor had one look at him and said he had to be admitted. He had got a severe respiratory infection and his chest was infected.

It has to be the worst feeling to see your active kid with an IV injected lying on bed with trips and looking dull. He was on trips for four days. Every time a doctor or nurse came, he started crying. He was just so scared to see new people who came and gave him injections and medicines and I am sure IV would have also given pain. He looked confused unable to understand what everyone was doing and hence could not cooperate with them. Finally after a series of antibiotics and medicines and nebulisation, he was discharged on September 10th at 8:30 p.m. He had to undergo nebulisation for a week and hence hospital visits continue.

In between all this, I caught his infection and was having a pretty bad cough and cold. I could not take any medicine since I was afraid it would make me sleep. I had to be awake to ensure he did not shake his hand during the night. All in all, a real tough scenario.

The reason why I think all this has made me feel defeated is:

1] All this has meant I could not take him for any therapies for last two weeks and I am not sure how much of an impact this would have.
2] After struggling for almost 2 months, he was saying a few sounds. But after this entire hospitalization episode, he is not saying any of those except “dha”.
3] I was potty training him and all my effort has gone waste since he was on diapers during hospital stay. In addition, he also has rashes.

I truly feel defeated. As if there is someone above who wants to see how much can I take and is consciously making my situation worse.

The only positive in all this is that my dad and mom came immediately to help me. I called my dad and told him that the doctor has asked to admit my son. His immediate response was, “Admit him, I will be there as soon as possible.” And then he cut the call. What would I do without such loving parents!

Discoveries of the almost two year old

My son,

As I read the last few posts, I realize I have not recorded your discoveries aka activities. So, here is the list of what you are upto these days.
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I used to sing a lot of rhymes both in English and Tamil with exaggerated actions just to keep your attention on me. It helped in improving sitting tolerance, eye contact, and concentration. Now we have come to the next stage where irrespective of whatever actions I make, you look only at my lips. This has been happening for the last couple of weeks. Yesterday, as I left you alone with your toys, I heard you humming “hmm…hmm… hmm…hmm…hmmmm…hmmmm…..” in the same tune as the Tamil rhyme “amma inge va va…” I was all smiles the entire day!

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Kitchen has become your official play area, much to my despair. Pressure cooker and gas stove are your favorite toys, with mixie and grinder coming a close second. Every time I switch on the gas, you want me to carry you and see what I am cooking. Next step is you asking for the karandi (ladle / spatula). I normally say No to it. One time, when I was preparing dosa, mother’s love dominated the brain and I gave you the karandi. I am still repenting for it. Every time I make dosa, I will have to give you the karandi so that you can swap dosa’s sides. I just wish you have the same interest when you grow up. I will be more than happy to handover the kitchen to you. (Yeah, I have great foresight :))

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In continuation with previous point, at the close of the day when I clean all utensils, you want to put them in its proper place. Only problem in it is that you are interested only in the stand above the gas stove. You place the stand on the burner, take the gas lighter, and tap it on the burner. Thankfully, you still do not know that there is something called gas cylinder on the floor. I guess it’s a matter of time before I buy a lock for the kitchen door.

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I make you sit beside me whenever I do pooja. Before the readers think I am trying to make him spiritual, let me clarify it is more to ensure he is in my eyesight. You have seen me do the pooja every single day and now you think you have seen enough of it and want to do it yourself. For example, you want to light the diyas (thankfully you have not perfected the art of using matchbox), you want to light the agarbathis (thankfully they do not produce much light, so your interest has dwindled), and the last comes lighting the camphor and here is where the problem lies. Today, you held my hand near the camphor telling me to light it. I told you to wait. You asked again and my response was the same. You asked the third time and my response was the same. Then you took the camphor yourself and took it close to the diya. Thankfully, my brain acted fast enough to carry you away. It is getting tougher as each day passes.

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Daily walks with you are becoming tougher for me. On some days, you throw your smile at the vendors and they give you fruits or vegetables in return. I almost feel embarrassed to carry them in my hand. On other days, you want to go to all the brightly lit shops like jewellery shop. My son, let me tell you however broad you smile, no body will give you a single gram.

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Just because I travel with you mostly in auto does not mean we can go inside any auto at any time. The autowala gives me a hard look and I give him a very sheepish smile.

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Once I dress you up, which in itself is a tough job since you do not like applying powder or oil, you want to go out. It does not matter if I am not ready or I have to pack my bag. You just want to get out and keep on pulling my hand. If I ignore you, you follow me wherever I go until I open the gate. :)

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That’s it for now. Keep your discoveries coming. I am enjoying every single minute of it.

Quietly happy

I do not know if there is an expression like being quietly happy. But that is how I am today. In fact, I think today is the first day in 2012 wherein I am happy. ***A big kaala tikka ***

The day started as usual with household chores taking up most of my time. But something changed as I took my son for our morning walk. After the walk he came close to me a few times and smiled at me. Later, I made him do all the learning activity toys and though he was sleepy, he did all of them in a jiffy. Then, I made him sit on my lap and held his hand so that we could practice writing (more like teaching him how to grip). After writing for a few minutes, he turned and looked at me with such brightness in his eyes and a smile that made me go “aww…” and he continued writing. I was speechless for a few seconds.

In the evening, I took him to Bangalore central since it was drizzling outside and I wanted to get him used to crowd. He went inside and was extremely happy looking at the lights. In toys section, he was happy to touch the toys, ride the cycle, bike, horse and donkey (none of which I bought :) ). Anybody who looked at him or touched him was given such a brilliant smile clearly telling that he was happy.

Once he was back at home, we did the activity toys and then gave him a few puzzles. He solved them all much to my surprise. Until today, though he has seen the puzzles and has taken them apart, he has never fixed them and I actually did not teach him to fix either. I thought he was too young for puzzles. Clearly, I am proven wrong. His mind is truly alive and kicking. And he continued the pattern of coming close to me, keeping his face closer to mine, and smiling. The happiness was so contagious that my heart is smiling. Thank you my boy for the love and affection. What if you can not speak in terms of words, our hearts are able to communicate, and I am so happy that my mind was also peaceful to understand the message.

No one other than my own heart knows that I am happy. I have not shared this with anyone, not with my husband or my MIL or my parents because I think it’s a mother-son thing and I consider it absolutely personal. It is ironic that I am recording this in the blog, may be I want to revisit this day sometime in future or may be I just don’t differentiate between me and my blog. I really do not know.

First set won!

Its Wimbledon time. In the same lingo, we (me and my son) have won the first set today.

I started the infant stimulation therapy on Feb and it has taken my son four months to pretty much achieve all the goals such as interest in toys, sitting tolerance, eye contact, shaking hands with strangers, responding when his name is called. So, from now on the therapy will be three days a week to ensure he does not go backward again.

Group therapy is still a problem. He finds it difficult to sit with other kids and expects individual attention all the time. I guess this will be the goal for the next set.

Another important milestone today is that I have started my son on speech therapy. The therapist tells me that his facial muscles are weaker and hence though he wants to produce some sounds he is unable to do so. So, I will have to massage his mouth and cheeks everyday. I promise to work hard and help you speak as early as possible.

My son,

Good job so far. Doctors are pleased about your progress. 

I have just one request. Please do not cry the entire 45 minutes of therapy session. It’s difficult for me to pay a good sum from my purse and sit outside and hear you crying at the top of your voice all the time. May be you can take a five minutes break in between. Think about it.

Thanks.

Love you,

Mom.

Letter of learnings

My son,

Last three months have taught me more than the learning from all the previous years put together. As they say, a wise man learns from others mistakes. I am sure you will be very wise (My genes should ensure that :) he he….  ). I do not know if I will remember to tell you all this in future. Hence, I have listed the same. Someday I hope you read and understand and thank me for the passing on the knowledge. (aah…..Whom am I trying to cheat? I know he may not read this at all, even if he reads he might just discard the same and call it crap. I do the same to my mom’s advice. *sheepish grin*)

1] Believe in God. There is nothing wrong in believing that all your sorrows will end. It does not matter who puts an end to it. But if it’s God, then let it be like that. The feeling will keep you optimistic.
(“Aandavan nallavangala sothipan aana kai vida mattan”)

2] Never forget others help, especially if it was done at a needy time.
(Someday I should do a post on your paati or my MIL. She has been such a help for me that whenever some argument rises between her and me or between me and your dad, I think of her help. Just the thought that she helps me when needed, lets me get out of that argumentative tone.)

3] No two person are alike. So, do not compare.
(Though there has been a delay in reaching your milestones, you are already giving me a glimpse of your strengths. You have a memory like an elephant. Also, you seem to have calmness around you. I don’t know if it’s because you are my child that I experience this. I would like to believe there is something in the way you carry yourself that brings calmness.)

4] Enjoy the moment.
(This is something that I have been telling myself. Thinking about past or future occurrences, do not let the present slip away.)

5] There is no use in self-pity.
(Take my word for this one. Self-pity will take you downward.)

6] Have a goal. Life will be more satisfying if you work towards a goal.
(Right now, my only goal is to help you reach all your developmental milestones. And the day you started differentiating size or identifying different shapes, it was wonderful.)

7] Read a lot.
(It will help you remove the negative clusters from your brain and give you fresh things to think about.)

8] Laugh a lot. Develop a sense of humor. If possible, make others laugh. Life will be so much lighter.
(This is something that I am consciously doing to ensure that there is positive energy at home.)

9] Eat well. Sleep well. Take care of your body.
( I sleep when you sleep. I wake up at 8 a.m. somedays. As someone who used to wake up at 5 in the morning, I feel guilty at times. But I have also realized that until I give my body rest I will not be able to run behind you in our street, take you to the park, sing all the rhymes to you, teach you using educational toys, scribble with the crayons apart from the basic bathing-feeding-sleeping activities.)

10] Last, Love your mom. She loves you a lot.

That’s it for now. Bye!!!

Down but not out...

After a long time, I have come here. Honestly it was a conscious decision on my part not to blog during what has become the toughest phase of my life. In short this is what happened in last two months.

• ADHD became autistic.
• A normal child was labeled “special child.”
• An enthusiastic mom became a depressed mom and then a determined mom.

How much ever I tried to be optimistic and tell myself that I can face this challenge, at the end of the day, seeing my baby sleep tore my heart and I started questioning myself on what I did wrong and why all this is happening to me. Since I mostly blog during the night, it meant that most of my thoughts were depressing and definitely not something that I would want to read later or worse even pass it on to others. So, I did not blog.

But, when friends call or message and ask me how I am doing because there is no update on the blog, I feel guilty. I definitely should be loyal to my readers (thank God even two count as plural :)). Thanks folks for remembering me. I am doing okay, trying my level best to help my child. Thankfully he is responding well to the therapy. His concentration, sitting tolerance and eye contact has improved. He responds when his name is called most of the time. He still is not speaking. I guess will have to start speech therapy in a month or two.

Apart from my son, I know very less of what has happened in the last three months. TV is totally banned at home. No current affairs. No IPL. No Sports. No serials. No films. Whatever little I know is because of blogs or facebook. (I tell you I never thought I can live without a TV for so long, but it really has been a boon. I have not missed it much.) I have been reading a lot of books and which has really helped in giving me some peace at the end of the day. Some day, I will document more about autism and things that I have learned. It was an eye-opener for me.

So, that’s what is happening at my end and will be the same for the next two months I guess. Once again, thanks for keeping a check on me. Love you all!!!

Blogger's bane

What is blogger's equivalent of commentator's curse? I do not know. I call it Blogger's Bane. I really am stupid not to put kaala tikka on my last post.... What else could be the reason that AK started crying at the training session from the next day of my last post?

What started as crying on the first day has become shouting on subsequent days. In between he had viral fever for four days, which only meant more crying and more shouting at home. And this is the reason why I have not posted on the last few days. It has been such an emotional week for me cajoling him, ordering him, shouting at him and finally shouting at the wall (yeah, I did that!). No wonder, the trainer told me he is very stubborn.

My boy,

Please help me to help you. Try to play with all the toys around you. It's all for your benefit....

Very very tired,
Mom.

Want to know my future?

Today’s updates are:

• There were more than 10 parents who came after me for the therapy session, out of which there was just one girl child. I wonder if doctors have separate criteria for boys and girls. Because girls are normally fast in achieving milestones. So, may be doctors need to be more patient with boys.

• The receptionist listens to radio while working, which is fine if she could use the ear-phones. Why does she want to play radio in speaker mode? To entertain us? Uff….

• This hospital resembles of a government hospital because they still WRITE in a diary the amount received for the day… No computers at all.

If you have come so far, then can you guess why am I making these random updates? Yeah, you are right. Today, I was stopped right at the door.

The trainer took AK inside and asked me to wait outside. I was standing outside the door for a few minutes and I could hear AK shouting for something. I was sure he will not cry. Someone who has not really cried much in 1.5 years, can not cry in an hour, isn’t it? But I knew, if he gets irritated he will start throwing things around him. Then another lady came told me to wait in the lobby. So, I had no clue what was happening inside. After an hour, the trainer brings him outside and my boy looks at me, ignores me and wants to go inside and play with toys. The trainer told me that today he was able to sit at one place for 15 minutes.

I think I can predict what is going to happen a year later. First day of school will see him just jumping to his class once he sees other children and the teacher will ask me to go back and I will cry outside the school door…

Happy playing my boy! Have fun!!! (let me also add, I did not have fun looking at his reaction…. Hmpf!)

Test for trainer’s patience

I loved the session today!!! AK tested the trainer’s patience. He was just not interested in any of the toys she showed and went to pick other toys. At one point, she raised her voice and AK gave one look and came to me.

She then decided to take all the toys and AK to a room and asked me to wait outside. Even in the room, he was more interested in looking out for new things in the room. Finally, the trainer was successful in making him sit down and helped him play with a few toys.

You want to know why I loved the session? Every time I raise my voice or hit him mildly when he does some mischief (how about playing with electrical sockets? or how about finding out how the fridge operates by researching the back-side of the fridge? or when he throws all his toys to all four corners of the room), he will just give a look and move on. No tears or tantrums. I used to wonder if he is ignoring me… Today I got the answer. He is not partial, he ignores everyone’s commands. Good. I have a real tough-nut at home.

First Kiss...

I got my first kiss today! (Do I need to mention from whom it was??? Anyway, in case you thought of anyone other than my son, I will be doubly delighted… he he) Well… It was not actually a kiss. I was playing with him by making sounds on his stomach. He was very happy and was laughing so much. Suddenly, he hugged me and licked my cheek. I think that is his version of kiss… (My boy, I think you made a mistake by kissing me first. I will keep reminding you for the rest of your life that I was the first girl you kissed. :) )

In other news, I re-read my last post and realized one major mistake that I have done. AK is diagnosed with mild ADHD. I missed the word mild. What a big mistake! Today, I took him for the therapy session and he responded well… He still does not play with a toy for more than 2 minutes but in general played with all the toys for close to 20-25 minutes. The psychologist told me that his eye-contact is much better than the first day.

At home also, I can feel the differences. If I say hello and give him my hand and shake it before right in front of his eyes, he holds my hand in response sometimes. Earlier, he just ignored my commands. I do not know if it is because of the conscious effort put in by me and MIL or it is just happening naturally. Whatever may be the reason, I hope the progress continues.

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While typing the first paragraph on kiss, I remembered the incident that happened on Valentines day. It was a normal day for me and I went to office, finished my work and left office at around 5 p.m. I was waiting for lift to come down. When the lift opened, there was only one guy inside and he was smiling at me. His smile was so bright and I just had to respond. I then entered the lift and stood such that he was behind me. I was wondering what made him smile. When the lift reached ground floor, I came out first and the guy followed me and then overtook me and was walking as if he is controlling not to run. The smile was still present on his face. And then at the gate, I saw a girl with a bunch of roses. The guy went to her, hugged her for a few seconds and then they kept looking in to each other’s eyes. A minute later they realized the surroundings and walked hand-in-hand.

There was bright smile in my face and I stopped an auto and the autowala smiled at me. :) That’s the power of love, isn’t it?

Good night folks!

What a hectic week it was!!!

Last week could easily be described as the most stressful week I had. This is what happened…

On Saturday, I went to give the usual vaccination to my baby. I told my pediatrician that my boy (lets call him AK from now on… I realized that I have never referred to my baby in blogworld with a name. How stupid can I be!!!) does not speak in words yet and also does not respond when his name is called… That triggered everything. Since all along, his milestones were delayed the pediatrician asked me to take AK to a neurologist so that we can get an analysis done. He wanted to check if AK had attention deficit disorder. So, I fixed an appointment on Wednesday with the neurologist.

On Wednesday I go to the neurologist hospital only to see babies and children with various physical ailments. God, it was tough - To see such babies and their parents and also the doubt that whatif something is wrong with my child. The doctor thought AK was hyperactive and wanted to get an EEG done. The technician asked us to bath the baby in the hospital with a shampoo since EEG requires that the hair should be free of oil. It was already 2 p.m. We decided to come the next day to take the EEG.

On Thursday, we went to take the EEG. While waiting I realized what EEG was. They place various sensors in baby’s head and try to record the brain’s signals. It was just tough to see AK with so many sensors attached to his head. Though I think I put up a strong face before my MIL and my husband because they were almost in shock, I was crying inside. An hour or so later the doctor saw the report and confirmed my baby has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder). It means he does not concentrate on what is happening around him. His concentration level is low and his hand-eye coordination is poor. The doctor suggested an ayurvedic tablet for two months and asked me to take AK to a psychologist. I met the psychologist the same day and she wanted me to come the next day.

On Friday, the meeting with psychologist happened. She observed my kid and then confirmed the things that doctor had told me. She said I need to bring AK to her for a month of infant stimulation therapy, which will help him in concentrating more. The therapy actually involves making the baby play with a few toys so that he can sit at one place for some time. This is the first step which will improve concentration. Then there is visual stimulation in which the baby follows various light sources. Then they leave the baby to play for a few minutes in bed surrounded by balls.

I took AK for the therapy on Saturday and he seemed to like it. The psychologist also asked me to do the same things at home. I will have to make him sit at one place for 5 minutes every half-an-hour which is a challenge given that he does not play with any toy for more than a minute. She also asked me to change AK’s attention in case he looks at the floor for long time. Simple things like that had to be taken care.

Which means I have to just be with him and take care of him 24 hours. So, I have taken a break for one month from office. I totally appreciate the kind souls at office who understood my situation immediately and granted me leave without many questions. So, from tomorrow I am at home. I plan to record the happenings of the next one month daily so that I have clarity on what exactly is happening. So, you can expect a post everyday…

I have so much more to say. But since post is already long, I will take those to the next post.

Finally, my heartfelt thanks to all those who extended your support in last post! God bless you all…

Good night

Unexpected turn of events….

One full month of 2012 has gone by and much advertised Valentines’s day is around the corner and I have not written one single post this year. I have my own reasons….I wanted the first post of this year to be an achievement – completion of first goal for the year!!!! So, I waited and waited and just when I was about to write a post saying “Goal 1 accomplished”, life pulls me down with yet another challenge…

Last year was so difficult on me. My baby was my biggest support. His smile always relaxed me and helped me set my priorities right. But now, my biggest support is becoming my weakness….

Life is so unpredictable… May Lord give me strength.