Past, Present, and Future

Disc: Long post alert.

For all those who had decided that this blog is dead, let me just say “Better luck next time.” (And next time may actually come very soon…. :)) And thanks to H for making me write this post. Else I don't think I would have written two lines.

Ok. So why no updates for a looooong time. Simple, straight forward reason. I was plain lazy. There were a zillion things in my head but when you are at mom’s place, there are more important things like trying out new dishes with your dad, eating all your favorite dishes that mom makes, chatting non stop over absolutely useless things, sleeping without switching on the alarm, watching TV, fighting with your brother, and the list goes on………… So, my blog obviously took a back seat.

But then, today is an important day. Since my baby has decided not to trouble me by giving any sort of pain until now, my doctor has asked me to get admitted today evening. My mental state can be easily described as a combination of tension, nervousness, fear, confusion, trust in the Almighty, expectation, happiness, and a few other feelings which can not be described. (Now, wasn’t that an easy description :)) I have no idea how today is going to change my life or what to expect from tomorrow. So, I guess today is the right time to tell you all how last few months have been wonderful and welcome the baby in the tummy to the outside world.

I had written a post earlier on how to appreciate the unexpected things in life. The pregnancy made me realize how beautiful the world is if you really make an effort to look at the positive aspects of life.

- I am sure every girl will realize that their parents are the best in the whole universe. Words are truly not enough to describe that feeling. The bond between the daughter and parents reaches a new level altogether. Dad and mom, I love you lots and can’t wait to see you become grandparents. [I also know that I will be totally ignored from tomorrow. I am getting mentally prepared for it :(]

- My parents had moved to a new house last year. This meant I do not know any of the neighbors. But how do you feel, when one fine day one of the neighbors come home and give you sweet vada (the first time I ate vada that was sweet and it was yummy) just because you are pregnant and you may like them. And another neighbor beings you flowers from nearest temple, and another gives you sevai to eat because you may like them. Truly people, I feel blessed. God bless these lovely souls.

- And what about the neighbor kid who is 2 years old and comes and asks me everyday how the papa is doing. And every time she ate a chocolate, she gave one to me so that paapa can taste it. :) [Yes, I dutifully ate it to let my paapa taste. :)]

- All those relatives of yours, who would have spoken to you 10 times in 25 years, call you every week to check how you are doing and offer help at any time. I really never thought these can happen. [It’s another story that me and my mom think there might be some other motive behind this. But let us ignore that for now.]

- And before I left Bangalore, my neighbor invited me home for dinner and gave me bangles, flowers and all those traditional things and gave me a proper farewell. What made them show such unconditional love? I can only wonder.

What can I say? Life just feels great. A new beginning is in store for me and I hope and pray that my baby continue to receive such love all through his life. (For people who read between the lines, let me clarify I do not know the gender yet.)

Last few days have been very tension filled. Everything seems normal. Baby has descended and is in correct position. Baby’s growth is normal. But I experience no pain, which actually has surprised the doctor. So, I have been taking long walks, eating things that might trigger pain, praying continuously. But nothing has worked.

But, today seems different. I guess I have the correct attitude now. As they try to induce pain medically, I hope pain starts and progresses and I am able to deliver the baby normally. Even otherwise, I know that whatever happens, God and doctors decide what is best for me and the baby, and I am ready to accept it. Fingers crossed though.

And how can I end this post without welcoming my baby.

Dear Kutty,

You have made me experience so much love and affection this year. If this is how life is even before I see you, I can’t imagine how future is going to be.

I hope I am able to love you the same way.

Meet you soon.

Love,

Mom

PS: People who read this today, please keep me in your prayers.