Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Mother's Instinct

Let me introduce my maternal grand mother (GM) to you. She got married early, as was the habit in those times. My grand father (GF) left her soon after marriage and ran away. I have no answer to why he did so. You can imagine the trouble a married woman without her husband would have faced in those times. People came up with all stories. Some said my GF was dead, some said that he got remarried. The society wanted her to act and dress as a widow.


Her only support was her father. He believed that my GF will come back. He gave a share of his property to my GM too. But after his death things changed. My GM’s brothers told her that her husband will not come back. They convinced her to transfer the property to their names since they have to take care of her from then. My GM did the same. But after 20 years, my GF came back. But my GM’s brothers refused to transfer the property. My GM and GF lived together. They had many children. They had little money, but they lived happily. My GF died early. So, she single handedly got her sons and daughters married.


Because of all this, my GM never expects anything from anyone. Whatever you ask, she will always have positive comments to tell you. (In fact, during my early cooking days, whatever I make she was the only person who said it tasted good. :) ) She has no demands and accepts whatever life throws at her. She has immense patience and has the heart to forgive everyone (even her brothers, who cheated her). Even at the age of 94, she washes her clothes. Even when others treat her badly, she does not complain.


Two months back, she came to our place for the naming ceremony on my son and she was in tears. She told my son that she never imagined that she would be alive to see him. She stayed with us a few days and left to my chiti’s (my mom’s younger sister) house. Before leaving she told us that this would be the last time she will be visiting us.


Few days after she left, my mom fell down and got her leg fractured. My mom was upset as there was a new born at home, which results in lot of work. Since, I can not strain my body, my dad had to wake up early, cook food, take my mom to hospital, wash baby's clothes, and leave to office (He became a superman overnight. :)). I took care of my mom and baby. If this was not enough, a week later, she fell down again and this time her left hand was fractured. We did not inform anyone about the fracture in the hand though my GM knew about the fractured leg. My mom became mentally upset and started crying non stop. Every time the baby cried, she started feeling bad that she can not lift the baby.


The same day, my grand mom told my chiti that she wants to see my mom and asked her to take her to my home. Since my GM is very old and needs support for walking, my chiti was hesitant. She tried to convince my GM saying that she had visited my mom only few days earlier and she need not strain her body. My GM was upset and stopped speaking to her. This was a shock to her as my GM never reacts this way. As mentioned earlier, she never demands anything.


My chiti called my mom and told her about this. My mom started crying and told her that she had fractured her hand too and asked her not to bring GM as she might become upset. But nothing works and my GM is adamant that she wants to meet my mom.


Finally, my GM visits my mom and they all cry together and I make fun of them.


Now, what made her behave that way on that day? Is it just a coincidence or a mother’s instinct? I thought all these mother sentiments happened only in movies.


Again, before leaving my GM tells us that this will be the last time she will be visiting our home and I smile at her.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Parents Vs Grandparents

Scene 1:
25 years back, I cry.

Dad: Calls his wife and asks her to lift the baby.

Now, my son cries.

Grand dad: Lifts the baby, calls his daughter, and shouts at her for making the baby cry.


Scene 2:

25 years back, my dad leaves for office. I run towards him and shout “Tata, Bye Bye”. Dad thinks I am crazy and asks me to study!

Now, the grand dad waits for 5 minutes for the baby to move his head from left to right, wishes him good bye, and leaves for office.


Scene 3:

For the past 25 years, dad calls me ‘Paapu’.

Now, the grand dad calls ‘Paapu’, I run to him and find that he is speaking to the baby.

I can give you many more instances. But I stop here since I am sure you would have understood that I am no more the ‘kutti’ in the house. :( Oh no! I do not want to grow up. I totally understand what my (elder) brother would have felt all these years when he accused my dad of being partial to me.

And what about grand mom you ask? Very simple! The following two sentences are repeated often.


When I accept her opinion, you will hear “This is what I did when you were young. That’s why you are good today.”


When I differ from her, you will hear “This is what I should have done with you were young. That’s why you are like this. (said in a tone which means I do not deserve to be at home. :) )”


My son is fortunate to have such wonderful grand parents. I envy him sometimes!