And ironically I am not scared today. In fact I am at peace with myself. I do not know what changed because for the past two days I have been bombarding myself with questions and really feeling bad for myself. But everything changed today morning. May be I woke up from the right side of the bed. :) I knew I have taken the right decision and things will fall in place.
In case you are wondering what all this is about, let me tell you I have just decided it is time to say goodbye to my career. As I type this there is a very remote possibility that I may go back if I get some part-time option in my current company. But that is more a wish than reality.
Looking back, one thing I can honestly say is that I have given my best shot at all the roles I played. I joined my first organization as a fresher and for 3+ years was engrossed in the world of C, C++, Java and .Net and I L.O.V.E.D every single day of those years. I took up a tough project before marriage and for 3 months gave the project everything I had. I was in office from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (much to my mom’s disapproval) on all days and I really enjoyed the challenge and hard work that I put in. I did it because I knew after marriage I would not be able to devote so much time to work and I was proved right. So, to achieve better work – life balance and to prolong my career, I moved from developer role to a writer role. Since I enjoy putting my thoughts into words I enjoyed this role also.
I moved to my second company because it was closer to home and my pregnancy got confirmed three days after I joined the company. Though the package was less, my priority was to have a better work – life balance. The company was absolutely supportive during my pregnancy and also after the child’s birth. Just when I thought I could manage both office and home, life pulled me down. My company was supportive and gave me a break for one year. I thought in one year I should be able to resolve all the issues and get back to work. Little did I know the magnitude of the challenge.
As my leave ends next month, I had to decide if I want to continue or not. Everyone around me asked me to quit. It was as if it was easier for everyone to take the decision except for the person concerned which in this case is me. (Sachin Tendulkar, I now know how you felt when people asked you why don’t you retire?) I was sad that in spite of making so many changes to prolong my career, life still finds a way to cut it short. Work gives me confidence and keeps me motivated. I want financial independence. I have my own dreams which need money and which will have to wait now.
But I am happy to say that all the questions and negative thoughts are done with. Today I am at peace with the decision I have made. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or may be someday in future. Hopefully I should have accepted life and moved on. The guy who gives me hugs and kisses at random times needs my attention and love and may be as this door closes, the Lord will be kind to open up another door.
In case you are wondering what all this is about, let me tell you I have just decided it is time to say goodbye to my career. As I type this there is a very remote possibility that I may go back if I get some part-time option in my current company. But that is more a wish than reality.
Looking back, one thing I can honestly say is that I have given my best shot at all the roles I played. I joined my first organization as a fresher and for 3+ years was engrossed in the world of C, C++, Java and .Net and I L.O.V.E.D every single day of those years. I took up a tough project before marriage and for 3 months gave the project everything I had. I was in office from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (much to my mom’s disapproval) on all days and I really enjoyed the challenge and hard work that I put in. I did it because I knew after marriage I would not be able to devote so much time to work and I was proved right. So, to achieve better work – life balance and to prolong my career, I moved from developer role to a writer role. Since I enjoy putting my thoughts into words I enjoyed this role also.
I moved to my second company because it was closer to home and my pregnancy got confirmed three days after I joined the company. Though the package was less, my priority was to have a better work – life balance. The company was absolutely supportive during my pregnancy and also after the child’s birth. Just when I thought I could manage both office and home, life pulled me down. My company was supportive and gave me a break for one year. I thought in one year I should be able to resolve all the issues and get back to work. Little did I know the magnitude of the challenge.
As my leave ends next month, I had to decide if I want to continue or not. Everyone around me asked me to quit. It was as if it was easier for everyone to take the decision except for the person concerned which in this case is me. (Sachin Tendulkar, I now know how you felt when people asked you why don’t you retire?) I was sad that in spite of making so many changes to prolong my career, life still finds a way to cut it short. Work gives me confidence and keeps me motivated. I want financial independence. I have my own dreams which need money and which will have to wait now.
But I am happy to say that all the questions and negative thoughts are done with. Today I am at peace with the decision I have made. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or may be someday in future. Hopefully I should have accepted life and moved on. The guy who gives me hugs and kisses at random times needs my attention and love and may be as this door closes, the Lord will be kind to open up another door.
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ReplyDeleteYello! Well, a temporary retirement only means a break until you find something more exciting to do. Take the time off so that A gets more quality time with his Mommie. (It's not everyday, a girl finds a boy who hugs and kisses her in random spur moments endlessly ;-)). In the future years, I am sure you would have found something to get your 'financial independence' and thereby the money you need to fulfil your dreams. I totally see it happening.
ReplyDeleteWell, it kinda would be sad not to see you in office when I come to Bangalore. Nevertheless, I shall give you a call and if I am spending the weekend, we three can take a walk in a nearby garden and catch up et. al.
Cheers.
The final word is still not out! :)))
DeleteYup, I stay close by to office... So, its not that hard to meet... :)))
That's a fantastic blog post- straight from the heart! You are certainly not saying 'goodbye' to your career! Our priorities are different at different phases of our lives! Nothing is permanent but change :). I agree with the Sachin Tendulkar bit. I used to get so angry with people deciding for him all the time!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith and remember our deal- your first vacation with rockstar has to be in Mumbai :D. See you soon. Love loads :)
Thanks dear! Love right back!
DeleteNice Write up. Sometimes its good to have myriad thoughts about life and career. And one day you realize the thoughts were just clouds on your basic intention which came from your heart. Listen to your heart. I am sure a lot of people will miss you here at work :)
ReplyDeletehe he... I really dont think anyone will miss me for the simple reason by now, they would have got used to it. :))
DeleteThere is someone called Moitrayee she misses u I think (worried). If you tell me I can tell her not to miss U ;) :p
Delete@Moitrayee: Well, I am sure we will be connected. just that the company Id is not valid. Ofcourse there is this selfish motive of telling the whole world that I know an author few years down the line. :)))
Delete@Payal: IN case she does not read this, you can tell her the same. Thanks! :)))