Being good is not enough

I got my appraisal today at work and I have been given “average” rating. There is a slight pain in the heart as I see it. Having been first in college and school, and having performed well in my first organization, I feel bad to get an average rating.

Suppose if I evaluate myself, this year I have been good at the jobs allocated to me. I have performed them to the best of my ability and the requestors have been happy. And that’s where it stops. I have not done anything beyond that. No initiatives taken. No new ideas contributed. I have also not attended any workshops / group activities. And since I had taken four months of maternity leave, I had also missed out on trainings and other new initiatives. So, I guess average is a fair assessment.

I think it is also a good time for me to answer a few questions about my career.

-> What is that you want from your career? Is it just the salary?

Definitely not. I want to take up challenging assignments, work on them, complete them successfully, and feel satisfied about my work.

-> With the above answer, you are aiming only for average rating even next year. Because until you contribute more than what is required, you can not obtain higher ratings. What is your take?

Correct. I should come out of my comfort zone and try to look for ways to improve myself and team. Let me think about these and develop a plan.

-> Do I have any long term goal?

Not really. I have never been someone who set long term goals.

-> What do I want to do the next year? Do I want to continue doing the same or I would like to grow into newer roles?

Well, this is the toughest question to answer. With a baby, I have no clue how much time I will be able to devote to my work.

Ideally next year I would like to be good at my job but also be proactive in identifying areas of improvement, finding ways to deliver more value to the team and be a team player. I hope this is a realistic target for me and I will be able to balance work and family.

-> How long do I plan to work from home?

I should motivate myself to be back in work as soon as possible. From April, I should be able to go back to office. Of course, this would mean I sort out a lot of personal issues and establish a strong support system at home. This is a big challenge and I hope things fall in place.

So, the action now is to constantly look for ways to improve and be proactive.

When will all these stop??

One of my aunt’s friends is a single mother, who lives in a good residential locality in Chennai. Her daughter studies in X standard in a leading school in Chennai.

A month back, the girl came home from school with very high fever. She did not speak to anyone, did not eat, and looked petrified. In spite of giving her antibiotics, the fever did not subside. When she had 104 degrees for four days continuously, her mother called my aunt and asked her what to do. My aunt tried to speak to the girl and ask her what happened. The girl did not respond. My aunt asked her mom to stay outside and asked the girl what had happened after giving her confidence that she will support her completely. And this is what the girl has said.

The physical trainer of the school has misbehaved with the girl. You know what would have happened. I don’t need to explain it. When my aunt told the girl’s mother, she just broke down. The next day she went to the school and told them what had happened. Looks like, the teachers already knew that the girl had a problem with PT class. She used to cry not to attend the class and would prefer writing her home work. And the teachers have forced her to attend the class. Irresponsible teachers they are! Couldn’t they think straight and ask what had happened? And if the girl was afraid, could not they inform the same to parents. And the school management has said they will take extra care of the girl, but can not do anything else since the reputation of the school will get affected. The mother has decided to change the school next year since this year she had board exams.

When will all these stop? I am sure most of the women would have faced such physical trainers or teachers or office colleagues or bus conductors or co-passengers or such perverts on the road. I have faced them and I am sure most of the women would have. Some women have the strength to stare at them, to shout at them, to slap them, to spray pepper on them, to pinch them with safety pin, to hit them with their shoes or what not.

But some women are like the girl in this case. I personally know the mom and the girl. Both are very beautiful. They are very soft-spoken people. The girl’s mom faced lot of physical and psychological troubles in her marriage before she came out of it. And because of her beauty, she still has problems from other men who try to marry her and keep troubling her. So, naturally they try to avoid strangers and are very reserved. Hence, it needed a lot of effort to make the girl open her heart. Sad but true!

How can parents avoid such situations? Listed below are few points that I can think. Please let me know your thoughts!

• Select a school closer to home. That gives the child immense confidence and will avoid most of these issues.
• Drop and pick up the child yourself or ask your relative or neighbor to do so. Invariably, the sight of a parent in school will stop these. Also, it gives you a chance to know the children and their environment.
• Know all the teachers so that your child knows that you will speak to the teacher whenever any problem occurs.
• Allow your child’s friends to come home. You can learn a lot about the school from their conversation.
• Educate the child to protect herself. There is no point in being afraid.

All play and no work!!!

If I don’t leave to my in laws place soon, I am sure my dad and brother are going to lose jobs.

Have you seen someone rejecting a business trip to China stating that his sister’s baby is at home and he needs to play with the baby and can leave to China only next month??

No?? Then meet my brother!

Have you seen someone who comes home @ 3 PM and answers his clients saying that he left office early to play with the grand son and hence asking them to call the next day?

No?? Then meet my dad!

Lucky day

One (and only) advantage of sleeping next to a baby is – even when you do not get sleep and are awake, you need not look at the ceiling. Its always wonderful to look at a sleeping baby. And if you are lucky the baby might smile in sleep.

Yeah, I was lucky yesterday.

ஆள் பாதி ஆடை பாதி

Yesterday, I had to go to office to get my laptop serviced. So, I wear a salwar instead of my usual house dress, say goodbye to my baby and leave for office. I come back after three hours and see the baby smiling and cooing at his grandmother. I get excited. I speak to him, smile at him, make funny faces, make funny sounds and what do I get in return??

A long stare.

This continues for 15 minutes and then I give up. I then change to my usual house dress and look at the TV. He looks at me and smiles, laughs and makes all sounds.

Looks like he recognizes me by my dress. How disappointing!! :( After all, isn’t it “ஆள் பாதி ஆடை பாதி”