12 O’n clock

This happened a couple of days back.

Since my son can recognize 1 to 10 pretty well, I was forced to teach him 11 – 20. (He can say A-Z, recognize all the alphabets, A for apple to Z for Zebra, names of most fruits, vegetables, animals, birds, vehicles. My readers, please please tell me if there is something else that I can teach him. Because that’s all that my brain can think of and these days he feels very bored. He is truly challenging me. :() So, now he says 1 to 20 and can recognize the same.

I was in kitchen preparing some dish when suddenly my son came to the kitchen and dragged me to the hall and with such a glow in his face said “Twelve, Clock, Twelve, Clock.” Aah, my baby boy has observed that the clock has "12". Truly, a Eureka moment for the little guy.

My son,

I have just one question for you. Didn’t you realize that there is a clock in the kitchen and it also has “12” on it?:D

Moments like these are truly my reward.

Perfect day!

To me, a day that starts with music and ends with books is a perfect day. It doesn’t matter what happens during the day. That’s not totally in my control and I really can’t expect everyday to be the same. But I guess we can hope for the start and end to be peaceful. After marriage, for about two years before the baby was born, this was how my life was. First thing in the morning, I would keep the milk on the stove and switch on the TV for what else but M.S. amma’s voice. The early morning breeze combined with hot filter coffee and M.S. amma’s voice in the background was divine. Once the baby was born, sleep was the only thing that was divine. :)

What makes me happy these days is that I have transferred the same ritual to my son without my consciousness. He loves M.S. amma’s voice and can listen to her songs for an hour. (I am not kidding.) Once he wakes up, the day starts with 'Bhaja Govindam', followed by 'Vishnu Sahasranamam'. If time permits, a few of her famous songs follows. There are about 20 songs that my son loves in her voice. (We will ignore the fact that this is more a selfish motive and I finish off my morning chores during that time. We are concentrating on spiritual experience here. :))

In the evening, I take him to the park or a walk in our street and then finish off the home work activities given by therapists. All this goes until 8 p.m. And then I loudly say ‘Book Time’, he flashes his 1000 watts smile and keeps saying ‘ook ime’ until I actually give him all the books. I then go to kitchen to have dinner. After five minutes, he will bring a book to the kitchen and ask me to read it. Once we have the read book for 5-6 times, he will go and bring another book. This routine continues until I finish my dinner, clean vessels and cut the vegetables for next day. After which I sit with him to read some more books. :)

I hope I am able to continue this for all the years to come.

My son,

I guess few years down the line, I would be more than happy if the day ends with you reading “text books” :) Yes, I am a normal mother who expects her son to take the IIT – IIM route.
Hey, what happened? Why did you fall down? :)

So, readers, What is your perfect day?

The day I dreaded is here

And ironically I am not scared today. In fact I am at peace with myself. I do not know what changed because for the past two days I have been bombarding myself with questions and really feeling bad for myself. But everything changed today morning. May be I woke up from the right side of the bed. :) I knew I have taken the right decision and things will fall in place.

In case you are wondering what all this is about, let me tell you I have just decided it is time to say goodbye to my career. As I type this there is a very remote possibility that I may go back if I get some part-time option in my current company. But that is more a wish than reality.

Looking back, one thing I can honestly say is that I have given my best shot at all the roles I played. I joined my first organization as a fresher and for 3+ years was engrossed in the world of C, C++, Java and .Net and I L.O.V.E.D every single day of those years. I took up a tough project before marriage and for 3 months gave the project everything I had. I was in office from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (much to my mom’s disapproval) on all days and I really enjoyed the challenge and hard work that I put in. I did it because I knew after marriage I would not be able to devote so much time to work and I was proved right. So, to achieve better work – life balance and to prolong my career, I moved from developer role to a writer role. Since I enjoy putting my thoughts into words I enjoyed this role also.

I moved to my second company because it was closer to home and my pregnancy got confirmed three days after I joined the company. Though the package was less, my priority was to have a better work – life balance. The company was absolutely supportive during my pregnancy and also after the child’s birth. Just when I thought I could manage both office and home, life pulled me down. My company was supportive and gave me a break for one year. I thought in one year I should be able to resolve all the issues and get back to work. Little did I know the magnitude of the challenge.

As my leave ends next month, I had to decide if I want to continue or not. Everyone around me asked me to quit. It was as if it was easier for everyone to take the decision except for the person concerned which in this case is me. (Sachin Tendulkar, I now know how you felt when people asked you why don’t you retire?) I was sad that in spite of making so many changes to prolong my career, life still finds a way to cut it short. Work gives me confidence and keeps me motivated. I want financial independence. I have my own dreams which need money and which will have to wait now.

But I am happy to say that all the questions and negative thoughts are done with. Today I am at peace with the decision I have made. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or may be someday in future. Hopefully I should have accepted life and moved on. The guy who gives me hugs and kisses at random times needs my attention and love and may be as this door closes, the Lord will be kind to open up another door.

Wow is the word

My son,

It’s been a month since the last post and truly I have no idea how January ended. Time just flew. Before my memory lets me down, let me record what you are up to these days.

You ask everyone “o aa u,” of course with me prompting you. But it is absolutely cute when you say it. The first time I heard it, I laughed until my tummy hurt me. And its been many months since I laughed like that. So, thank you for that. (For readers wondering what it means, “How are you?”)

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Since you are officially my tail, you sit with me in the pooja room either blowing at the lamps or trying to taste the camphor or trying to play with dhoop stick. There are days when I think I am actually speaking more to you than the Almighty. But unknowingly you have also listened to all the chants I say. So, now you join me and say "Om", wait for me to complete the chant, and then say "namaha". :) I hope the Lord is happy. :)

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At night I lie down next to you and close my eyes and pretend asleep. There is just one thought in mind that I should not actually sleep before you do. And what do you do? You sing lullabies to me. Today you sang – “aa… ra…. ro, aa… re… ra…. ro". It is such a soothing feeling to listen that in your baby language. :)

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Last week, since it was Friday and I was doing some pooja at home I wore a saree. Once you woke up, as usual you came to the kitchen to see me, but did not recognize me. You thought it was someone else and went running. When I called you a few minutes later, you turned back, looked at me and then looked at the saree, came near me, asked me to sit down, kept touching the saree, all the while your smile broadening until both of us laughed. Finally you said “Wow.” Thanks my son! No one has ever said that. :)

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Truly wow is the word these days. Of course it all started with me. I started saying wow in various modulations and decibels as a positive reinforcer and you caught on to it. So, every time you are happy, like I make your favorite dish or I wear a saree or you are able to achieve some challenge or we see a new bike, you immediately say wow. I join you and say wow. Then you say wow in a higher decibel and lasting for a few more seconds. Again I say wow in the same pattern that you said and again you increase your decibel. It feels wonderful to just be part of your happy world.

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You have also become naughtier. Currently washing machine has become your favorite toy. I have the washing machine on the kitchen. The other day I see the timer on the wash tub and came to the pooja room only to hear a few strange sounds. I come running only to find that you have opened the lid and have put a few vessels inside it and you are laughing at them rotating. I give a deep sigh, remove all vessels, and wait until the timer finishes. Then I drain the tub, connect the inlet pipe to the tap and bring you out. A few minutes later you come to me and day “ eeh aah” (which is the equivalent of “thee thaa” meaning water). I go and check and see that you have taken the inlet pipe and put it on the ground and the kitchen is flooded with water. What can I say? I tried to scold you but seeing you wet shirt and pant I figured out you had a good time and just asked your dad to take care of you. Please remember there will be day when I will lose my patience. :(

Keep those naughtiness and cuteness coming.

Love you loads,
Mom