There is a marriage hall across my office. As with every other marriage hall in the country, this one is also booked almost on all days. I seriously wonder these days, if this can be the best investment. Build a marriage hall and customers will come to you. What more do you want :)
Anyway, today as I was crossing the hall, I saw a girl with teary eyes come out with a few relatives. I could not help stopping myself for a few seconds. I so dearly wanted to give her a tight hug and say – "Do not worry dear. You are not losing anyone. You are going to add a few wonderful people to your world. Life will be happier."
Have you seen the Tamil film "Mouna Ragam"? It is one of my favorite films. I would have watched it over 50 times. There is a scene where Mohan, the hero says,
"குழந்தை ஏன் அழுதுட்டே பிறக்குது தெரியுமா? இந்த உலகத்துக்கு வர பிடிகாம இல்லே, புது இடம் புது மனுஷங்க அதனால"
[Translation: "Do you know why a new born baby cries? Not because it does not want to come to this world. Because the place, surroundings and the people are new."]
I am sure anyone listening to these words, will feel much better about the change. That's the power of words. A few positive words at the right time can bring the much needed comfort.
So, my question is – What will be your words to the newly married girl / boy?
I would say – "You are going to share your life with him/her. It will be beautiful. Spread love and affection and you will get it back. Also, if there is any misunderstanding, don't regret. Misunderstandings are needed to understand a person better. Live life happily. God bless!"
But in reality what do we say?
- "From now on, he is everything for you. Whatever happens, be patient. Even if someone hurt you, don't reply. Ensure you respect your husband and his parents. Behave properly so that they are happy."
Isn't this a negative thought? Why cannot we give him/her the confidence that life will be happier and marriage is truly a bliss?
ohh your words make sooo much sense...we need to give positive energy as people start a new phase of life instead of saying things to scare them away...the way you've put is just lovely..
ReplyDeletebtw, i hopped over here from Dee's blog...love this space :-)
I think the crying part after marriage is part of the ritual now-a-days. If the girl does not cry, her own relatives will nudge her to cry. I had told my parents that I would not cry and if they cried, I would stay back with them, canceling the marriage. :) My marriage was without any negative emotions.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said about the negative thoughts that are given as advice to the bride. That might scare her more.
@Titaxy: Thank you...!! Glad that someone who dreams about marriage these days, liked it :)
ReplyDeleteI have quoted words from this post in response to a post on Bhagwad's blog, (With a link to your blog).
ReplyDeleteWhen we talk of equality and claim reserved seats for women make them unequal, we forget how illogical and selective such objections are. The entire responsibility of maintaining a patriarchal society is supposed to rest on the shoulders of the member who has no say in taking that responsibility which binds her and restricts her in innumerable ways.
Which girl, if she truly had a choice would buy the logic of a partnership of a lifetime beginning with (and even based upon) such rationale.
@Bindhu Unny: so, you knew how to scare others to get the positive emotions :) Lovely!!
ReplyDelete@IHM: Thanks IHM. Saw Bhagwad's blog.
ReplyDelete